He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
