the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
