He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
