God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
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