can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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