1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I looked at my own cervix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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