I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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