there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
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How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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