I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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