I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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