the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
