We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
