Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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