hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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