I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
