pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
