Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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