can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
