she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Alive.
So much puke
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
