We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
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