No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
