Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
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It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
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By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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