i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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