I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
