Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
