yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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