can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
