he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
