you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Randomize
