It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
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