so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
