I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
