I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I want to be your penis for a week.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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