You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
i came on her dog
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
