why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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