yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
