Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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