Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
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