wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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