Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
