I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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