He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i barfeds in our rink
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
