omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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