Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Randomize
