I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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