I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
