Whoa Z and x make the same sound
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
