Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
