this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Randomize
