I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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