Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
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Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
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I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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