One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
