Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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