Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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