Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
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When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
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I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
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