Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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