I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
