Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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