i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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