i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I have already put on my inside pants.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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