I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
