happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
