she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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