I like to think it a success when the cops are called
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Randomize