new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize