therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
