I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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