id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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