you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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