Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
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