You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2