when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Woman Using Lunch Break To Find Another Job Gets Hilariously Snitched On By The Local News
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
28 ‘Thanks For Coming To My Ted Talk Tweets’ Funnier And More Informative Than An Actual Ted Talk
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.