This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
30 People Reveal The Moment They Realized: ‘Oh Sh*t, I’m An A**hole’
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
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Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming