if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
