Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
