I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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